Hire me, NEMO: To go green upon your hire

Friday, April 9, 2010

To go green upon your hire

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The Truth

You may not have been previously aware, but you and I were meant to be. Allow me to explain.

Our paths were first destined to collide on one sunny Saturday morning in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I, being just old enough to clutch a crayon, was presented a children's menu featuring the finest greasy spoon delights the Metro Diner had to offer a young lad. I was then coaxed into crudely coloring said menu with a small cup of Crayolas until our meals arrived. After gumming down some apple sauce and who-knows-what-else, the kindly waitress, enthralled with my creation, promptly scotch-taped my kiddie menu to the hostess stand. The cogs have been set into motion ever since.

I have had my sight set on you for quite some time but have been weary to approach in such a lousy economic environment. Imagine my surprise at your craigslist posting. That's when I knew. It's all been leading up to this. I need you. And you need me too.

I'm young, scrappy, original, and can push pixels just as skillfully as wield an x-acto blade. But enough of tooting my own horn. Have a look for yourself.

Testimonials

"Thomas has been drawing since infancy. Give him a piece of paper and he'll fill it with all sorts of artistic endeavors! Doing what you love is the best, and he has been blessed to know what he wanted to do as his vocation for most of his years. From taking every art class offered as a young child to working as a high school graphic artist for the local newspaper he began honing his skills. He was drawn to advertising design classes in high school and to MICA to study graphic design. This young man has talent and ambition as evident from his body of work on his portfolio. Give him a chance to prove himself. You won't be sorry."
- Currin Bradley
My Mom

"Thomas has it all going on. Type nerd. Doodler. Vector expert. Rattle-can hound. He has the skillz needed to make things happen. "
- Josh Berger
My Former Employer

"That Bradley kid is one persistent little shit.
I like his style."
- Aaron Draplin
Draplin Design Co.

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua."
- Simon Goetz
My Copywriter

"You will not be disappointed. This guy's got a tongue of silver, a heart of gold, and the sandwich making skills of Jared Fogel."
- Baker Poulshock
My Former Roommate

"Thomas has a gift that is neither beast nor man. He was born with eyes of an eagle, the dependability of the tides, and the mind of a god damn scientist."
- Tom O'Toole
The Homie

Satisfied Customers

Alan Jones Academy of Music
Baker Poulshock Photography
Burgerville
Converse
Doug Fir
Figaro’s Pizza
Ft. George Brewery
HiPop Records
Holocene
Hopworks Urban Brewery
Hurley
Isabella Products
Jashanmal Books
Jordan Domont Illustration
Josh Berger
Lizard Lounge
Maryland Institute College of Art
Microsoft
Ministry of Imagery
Motorcycle Awesome
Motorolla
Newsweek
Nike Golf
Nike SB
Nike US
Nike Women’s Training A/P
Nike Women’s Training US
Pacific Northwest College of Art
Plazm Thread
Portland Center Stage
Project Gallery
Red Bull Theater
Rock and Roll Camp for Girls
Someday Lounge
Sunrose Condominiums
The Giving Tree
Uncommon
Work Truck Malt Liquor
Yes No Please
Zamora Engineering